Should I Try Mediation if Domestic Violence Exists?

You may have heard the common argument that mediation is the most ideal alternative to litigated divorce proceedings, for the sake of time, money, and maintaining amicability with your spouse. However, this is a sweeping generalization that should only apply to standard divorce cases. In other words, we may advise you against this option if you share any signs that your spouse may not be the best person to negotiate with, such as if they have ever been abusive towards you. With that being said, please continue reading to learn whether you should still consider divorce mediation even if your spouse has a known history of domestic violence, and how an experienced Long Island domestic violence lawyer at the Law Offices of Jay D. Raxenberg P.C. can ensure you take the most protective legal pathway at this time.

Should I try divorce mediation if my spouse has a history of domestic violence?

Simply put, we may not push you towards divorce mediation if your spouse has a documented history of domestic violence, coercive control, or intimidation. This is meant to be a voluntary process in which you and your spouse can negotiate on divorce-related terms freely and safely. And so, we do not want you to enter these sessions with a fear in the back of your mind that your spouse may pressure you into conditions you are not comfortable with, or retaliate against you if you vocalize your concerns or disagreements. 

While we may advise against traditional face-to-face mediation, we may consider a modified version, sometimes referred to as “shuttle mediation,” as a viable option. Here, your mediator may physically move between two separate rooms to deliver communication. Or, we may set up virtual mediation sessions on your behalf. That way, your legal representative may be present and step in to intervene if they find you are being exposed to any undue pressure or unfair treatment from your spouse.

What divorce process should I follow if I’m a victim of domestic violence?

More realistically, though, if you have been made the victim of domestic violence, our team may find that the safest and most strategic divorce process starts with obtaining certain legal protections. Namely, you should first petition the New York State Family Court with an Order of Protection. This order may prohibit physical contact between you and your spouse, grant you temporary, exclusive access to your marital home, and grant you temporary, full custody rights over your small children.

Then, in your litigated divorce proceedings, you may feel comfort in knowing that the family court will closely monitor your spouse’s typically unpredictable actions. Specifically, if your spouse has exhibited a history of financial abuse, it may be better for the court to obtain all financial documents and such. And if they feel you have been deprived in any way (i.e., your spouse hid marital assets or stole your separate property during your marriage), they may decide to grant you more favorable spousal support and property division outcomes. 

If you want to ensure you have a strong legal strategy with a reliable team in your corner, please look no further than the Law Offices of Jay D. Raxenberg, P.C. A skilled LongIsland family lawyer from our law firm is ready to be of any service to you.