Parental Alienation on Planet Earth: How Courts are Protecting the Alienated Parent

Have you, as the non-custodial parent, ever felt like your spouse is alienating you from your children?  That your child no longer wants to visit with you for no apparent reason?  Or that your child has been uttering words or phrases that are not age appropriate regarding why they do not want to visit with you or why you are to blame for breaking up the marriage?  If so, you may be a victim of parental alienation. 

Parental alienation syndrome, a term developed by Dr. Richard Gardner, is a disturbance in which “children are not merely systematically and consciously ‘brainwashed’ but are also subconsciously and unconsciously ‘programmed’ by one parent against the other.  (See J.F. v. L.F


181 Misc. 2d 722).  Parental alienation will most commonly occur after a divorce or separation when one parent wants full custody or less visitation rights for their ex-spouse. 

In May 2010, Nassau County Supreme Court Judge Ross sentenced a mother to incarceration for six alternating weekends for violating the couples’ separation agreement by “alienating the children from the defendant, plac[ing] any obstacle in the way of the maintenance, love and affection of the children for the defendant,” and “hinder[ing], impair[ing] or prevent[ing] the growth of a close relationship between the children and their parents, respectively, or cause others to do so.” (Lauren R. v Ted R., 2010 NY Slip Op 50931U). 

By way of example for what constitutes parental alienation, in this case Judge Ross found that the following acts rose to the level of alienation.  The mother scheduled the child’s birthday party on father’s visitation weekend and refused to allow the father to attend the party.  When the mother insisted the children come home early from their father’s house for the birthday party and the children wanted to stay until the party, the mother warned the children that they would be punished “big time” for wanting to spend time with their father.  On numerous occasions the mother scheduled family events and social activities for the children during the father’s visitation time.  Finally, “The children demanded that defendant (father) meet “their” demands before they would permit him to visit with them again. They demanded…that he withdraw his objection to their participation in therapy with their mother’s therapist, and that he pay for 75% of D.’s Bat Mitzvah but limit his invitations to a handful of guests and have no role in the planning of the event. Plaintiff’s (mother) contention that she had no involvement in these children’s “demands” was belied by the very fact that the children had intimate knowledge of their mother’s position on all of these issues.”

Whereas Judge Ross ordered the mother to jail for six weekends, other New York courts have ordered different remedies.  In some cases, a showing of parental alienation led to a change of custody.  If the parental alienator is the non-custodial parent, the court may suspend all visitation with the child.  If the parental alienator is the custodial parent who is receiving maintenance, Domestic Relations Law § 241 allows the Judge to give the non-custodial parent financial relief.  “When it appears to the satisfaction of the court that a custodial parent receiving alimony or maintenance pursuant to an order, judgment or decree of a court of competent jurisdiction has wrongfully interfered with or withheld visitation rights provided by such order, judgment or decree, the court, in its discretion, may suspend such payments or cancel any arrears that may have accrued during the time that visitation rights have been or are being interfered with or withheld.”

If you are experiencing parental alienation syndrome Long Island Divorce Attorney JAY D. RAXENBERG can help. 
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