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10 Ways Divorce Can Change Your Life for the Better

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The downsides of a divorce are self explanatory; however there are also upsides to a divorce that sometimes get overlooked.  Whether you realize it or not, your divorce, like many other life challenges, changes you, shapes you, and strengthens you.  In the Huffington Post article, 10 Ways Divorce Can Change Your Life for the Better, Lisa Arends details 10 different characteristics that define the post-divorce you.  Although the pain of a divorce may leave its mark, you are not the same person you were before, you are better.

Arends begins with an application of maturity.  Just because you may legally have to be an adult to get married, this does not automatically include being mature.  In many ways, people enter their marriage still children in many ways, often carrying childhood wounds and patterns into the marriage rather than assuming adult responsibilities.  Divorce serves as the drill sergeant, leaving no room for childhood fantasies and overdependence on others.  It forces you to pick up any slack and move forward.

Confidence.  Divorce tends to sap your confidence, leaving you feeling defeated.  If you find yourself getting wrapped up over the back-story of your divorce, it is important to keep in mind that it is only part of the story.  The best part of the story comes next, with every time that you successfully complete something that you thought you could not do.  That is what gives you back that confidence that you had been feeling withering away.

Perspective.  As time goes on, and your divorce moves further behind you, you will be able to see patterns that are less clouded by emotion and cluttering detail.  That perspective will give you that information that you can use to change your own behaviors and improve your future relationships.

Gratitude.  As the dust settles, you will find an increased thankfulness for the friends who stood by your side.  You will treasure every day and you will retain gratitude as the pain fades because there is so much more to life that will lift you up.

Empathy.  Divorce wipes away the ego that demands that it is shameful to ask for help.  Once you have needed and accepted that help, you become more equipped to render aid to others.

Responsibility.  It’s good to be independent, yet divorce requires that you learn this independence.  It’s scary taking on all of the responsibility yourself, but it is also empowering.  What you own, you can change.  It is your life now.

Humility.  Divorce teaches us that no matter how much we want something to be true, we cannot force it.  The end of a marriage helps you embrace acceptance while limiting expectations.

Fortitude.  Divorce takes thick skin to survive.  It is important to flex your fortitude even when you can’t see the end.

Awareness.  Divorce is a major change in the status quo.  It is a time where everything stands out in stark relief and there is awareness and clarity that may have been absent before.

Ingenuity.  Divorce has a way of surprising us with all kinds of situations requiring novel and often immediate solutions.  The more you do something, the more proficient you become.  The end of a marriage will give you plenty of opportunity to develop your ingenuity.

Wisdom.  Divorce may be used as an opportunity for reflection and analysis.  There is wisdom in the lessons that are hidden at the end of a marriage.

Are you considering filing for divorce or separation?  When a couple decides to dissolve their marriage, there are many aspects that need to be addressed including child custody and financial support, parenting time/visitation, spousal and equitable distribution, to name a few.  These are subjects that Jay D. Raxenberg, P.C. has gained a great deal of experience in over the last two decades in Supreme and Family Court.  Mr. Raxenberg has extensive training, knowledge and experience in this area of the law and is dedicated to providing exceptional compassionate legal representation to all of his clients.  Please call (516) 491-0565 or toll free at (888) 543-4867 to arrange your initial complimentary consultation.

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