The Divorced Spouses versus the Children: Whose interests matter more?

Oftentimes when going through a divorce separating spouses will come face to face with this question: “Whose interests matter more, the kids or ours?” During your divorce child custody agreements will be set in place to aim and serve the best interest of your children. What many divorcing spouses don’t realize is that in the long term, as your children grow so will their needs.

When going through your divorce a parenting plan regarding your children will dictate what days each respective spouse will have with the children as well as what holidays and vacation times will amount to throughout the upcoming years. This will undoubtedly be one of the hardest arrangements and agreements you will be faced with during your divorce process. Typically these arrangements will govern your children’s day to day lives until the time they turn 18 years old.

Its not always the first thing on your mind when reaching these agreements that the needs of your toddler, will not be the needs of your future 7, then 10, then 16 year old. As time progresses you and your former spouse will be faced with difficult dilemmas and challenges regarding your children’s ever changing schedules. Between school, sports and extracurricular events, and your children wishing to spend the weekend now with their friends, changes in your agreement will undoubtedly have to be made. It is important to keep in mind that your custody agreement is a subject that you will be revisiting often as time goes on.

Children of divorced families may find themselves in just as great a dilemma as you and your former spouse. Oftentimes children of divorced homes will find themselves silencing their own wishes and desired needs in an effort to maintain the continuity or avoid conflict within the divided homes. Children who do speak out upon their wishes to request new or different agreements that THEY may find is more appealing will find their voices seldom carry any legal credence.

Children’s rights are important and are not to be routinely ignored. If you find yourself in this situation, look for ways to open a dialogue with your ever evolving family and come to the best understanding and agreement so you may focus on the physical, intellectual, and mental growth of your children.

If you or a loved one has concerns relating to custody and visitation and want to ensure that your rights as well as the rights of your children are protected, call the Law Offices of Jay D. Raxenberg today. Mr. Raxenberg has over two decades of experience litigating and settling complex issues relating to Family and Matrimonial practice and is dedicated to providing exceptional legal representation to all clients. Please call (516) 491-0565 or toll free at (888) 953-3235 to schedule your complimentary consultation.